August 30, 2010

My oldest daughter will be entering middle school on Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2010. A new chapter in her life and mine. Her and I went to her school last week to get her schedule, pay the fees, check out her classroom, find her locker and put all her supplies in them. I can honestly say I am not ready for this, I am not ready for this next chapter, but I will try to remain strong and not let her see how it's breaking my heart that the little girl I once knew has grown into a mini version of me. School is not easy for her, but as long as her and I are together the two of us can do it together. Last year it felt like I was back in school again relearning everything I did back in the day. I don't know how many times I went to the computer to look things up to see exactly what her homework meant, now on Wednesday we will began that all over again. Some parents are happy when their children go back to school, I am not one of those parents. I love when my girl is out of school.

Fall is approaching and it is my favorite time of the year. I love the change of color in the leaves, I love the cool crisp days, I love the decorations for Halloween. I love the idea that I plan to make caramel apples with my girls for the first time. I know I could do it now, but something about doing them as the leaves are falling from the trees and we're bundled up in sweaters just makes it seem more fun to me. I can't wait to take Addison to her first pumpkin patch this year and see which pumpkin calls out to her and she insists on having. I love fall.

I want to do more as a family, but I can never think of what to do, that is my problem, I have no imagination and it really bothers me. I want to go away with just my girls. Lock ourselves up in a hotel for the night, order pizza and watch tv and when I mention this to my family somehow they invite themselves and now I'm looking into going away with them. I want to make memories for my girls, I want to start traditions and as much as I want it I never do anything about it. I love my family and I'm glad that I have them, but sometimes I just want to make memories for my girls with just me and them. Life moves so quickly and I don't want to miss a second of it.

At the end of October Addison will be making her first trip in a airplane; we're going to Disney World to celebrate my birthday and because I want to go and check out their Halloween party and decorations. I'm excited to go, but I'm afraid of how Addison will be on the plane. I hope everything is ok and she enjoys it. Honestly, I hope she sleeps on the flight and it's smooth flying for us. Addison has learned how to scream for what she wants so I hope we can keep her entertained because I'm sure those on the plane are not going to be too happy with a screaming baby.

Well, this has been a rambling entry and now I must go.

Until next time.

August 21, 2010

I've been at my job for 15 years now and I like my job. I have no real complaints but just like anything else in life when you keep doing the same thing over and over again it becomes mundane. I could do my job blindfolded and yes, there are days that I go "I just don't want to do this anymore" I would love a little variety, but it pays me well and I like the people I work with. The only problem for me, at least, is that because I could do this job blindfolded I tend to drift away and spend a lot of my time thinking. I do way too much thinking at work and it drives me crazy. I spend very little time thinking at home and I'm more relaxed when I'm not thinking constantly. Sometimes when I'm thinking I get mad, other times I get excited and sometimes the lightbulb turns on and I go "oh yeah". There have been times when I think that I want to do something and I'm all excited about it but because I'm at work and I over analyze it I realize that maybe it's not such a good idea. Thinking is a good thing, but sometimes it just drives me crazy. I want to do so much while I'm at work and I always say when I get home I'm going to do this or I'm going to do that, but the minute I get home I forget or I just don't want to do it. I think my problem with that is I drive 40 minutes home, my body relaxes. For the most part at work I'm either standing or walking and so when I'm sitting in my car for that 40 minute drive home my body must say "oh, I'm sitting now, I can relax" and than I end up at my mom's house for dinner and to pick up the girls so I usually don't get home until an hour and a half after I get home. So, everything I thought about at work, everything I wanted to do goes to the wayside and nothing happens and the very next day the thinking begans all over again.

I can not believe that in a week and a half my oldest child is going to be entering middle school. Where has the time gone? Middle school....the next step to high school. I'm not ready for this, can't we just stop time for just a short bit and let me enjoy her being my little girl just a little longer. For goodness sakes, she's almost a teenager. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS. Enjoy your children when they're young and still need you, because one day you look at them, really look at them and they are a mini version of you in a grown up body. I'm going to surprise her on her first day of school, I bought her a cake that will be shaped like Ryan Brauns jersey with his number and name on it and they're going to put on it "Welcome to middle school, McKenna" I am such a cool mom. My mom is than going to make her favorite dinner for her (hamburgers) and hopefully that should be the start of a good school year for her.

Summer is quickly coming to a close and Fall is right around the corner. I love Fall, it's my favorite season. I love watching the leaves change color and the brisk cool air arrives and after this sweltering heat we had this summer it's going to be a welcome blessing. I'm excited that this year Addison can go to her first pumpkin patch and pick out a pumpkin. I can't wait to make caramel apples (with sprinkles) for the first time with my girls. I just love Fall. I love the Halloween decorations and not to mention Fall is when I celebrate my birthday. I always love it when I reach another birthday because than I know that God had given me a whole, complete year to live my life. To do something meaningful, just to enjoy life, enjoy being a mom to my girls. Thank you God.

This year I received an extra week of vacation at work (I'm now up to 4 weeks) and I knew just how I was going to use that extra week. I was going to go to Disney World and I was going to do it for my birthday. I was going to celebrate my 40th birthday at Disney World. I wanted to go there during the Fall just to see the decorations (Disney never does anything small) and from what I did see in how they decorate, I just can't wait to see it in person. I'm going to go to their Halloween party at Magic Kingdom, too. The tickets are bought for the party, the reservations are made (and will soon be paid for), the airline tickets are bought, so now we just have to go. 67 more days to go. I hope it's a good trip. I hope Addison does fine on her first airplane ride. Think positive and only positive things can happen.

I have rambled enough for now. Until next time.

August 8, 2010

What a beautiful weekend we had to celebrate my little ones 1st birthday. We chose to go to a waterpark because the whole family enjoys it, but of course, the birthday girl would have nothing to do with the water. She HATES the water. She'll play in a tub of water just as long as she's not in it. Don't even think of putting her in the bathtub or a swimming suit so she can play in the kid area, she will have none of it. She hates water getting on her face and she becomes a very upset baby. So, what did we do?? We already made the reservations for next year at the same place for her birthday. I have only 12 months to get her use to the water and realize that it's our friend. It was a relaxing weekend and I'm glad that we went.

I just can not believe that a whole 12 months have gone by since Addison was born, it really has gone by fast. From a little girl who spent 8 days in the NICU to a walking, temper tantrum, beautiful, smiling girl. I have been blessed with her and her big sister. I am one lucky mom and I don't thank God nearly enough for giving me these two beautiful children.

My little Addison has learned how to throw temper tantrums now when she doesn't get what she wants so when that happens I softly lay her on the ground and let her go with it. Of course, right now they don't last long because when I walk away she must realize that it's not going to work and she's done with it. I'm sure that as she gets older they will become longer, but my plan is to snip that in the bud real quick. Temper tantrums are just one of the things I will not accept. It's part of her growing up and seeing how much she can get away with it. I'll tell her, like I have told her older sister, that you will get much more out of me when you behave than when you don't and though I know it's not always easy being good, it will always pay off in the end.

She went to the doctor on Friday for her 1 year check up and she's 17 pounds 8 oz. She's only in the 5 percentile of weight but the 50 percentile for her height, she's my petite little lady. I hope she stays petite. She is now off her formula (though we still have a canister left) and I have her drinking whole milk and now she can eat anything we do, within reason of course and she does like her grown up food so much better than her baby food. It's like she knows now that she doesn't need that baby food and she refuses to eat it, even her cereal, which is one of the things she loved the most.

Well, that is all for now.

August 5, 2010

Addison~

One year ago today, you graced us with your presence and I have felt blessed ever since. One year ago today, you came into my life and changed it forever. One year ago today I became a mother of two beautiful daughters and I finally felt complete. Happy 1st Birthday, my sweet, Addison.

I can not even began to explain how much I love you. I waited a real long time for you, but the wait was worth it. My pregnancy from hell was worth it. I ask myself, would you go through that all over again and as happy as I am that it is all over with I can't help but answer yes to that question, because no matter how irritating being pregnant was, in the end I got you. Being pregnant was only temporary, being your mom is for a lifetime.

One year ago today, I was in the hospital, unable to get out of bed because of my ceaseran and you were in the NICU, but today, 12 months later, you are asleep in my bed as I'm sitting here writing this. So much has changed in a years time and all of it is for the better.

You are no longer the little baby who could only lay where I put you or eat when I gave you the bottle, you are my big girl now. You can walk and if I go somewhere without you, all I have to do is look around and you are on your own two feet walking toward me. I no longer have to hold your bottle for you to get your nourishment, you can hold that bottle yourself.

We celebrated your birthday by getting your pictures taken, eating at your grandma and grandpa's house and giving you your very own (cup)cake. It took you a minute or two to figure out what to do but when you did you had a blast with it. How you cried when I took it away from you and than I gave it back to you because it is your birthday and you should have everything you want, especially on your birthday.

Happy Birthday, my kittle one, may each and every day be as bright and as beautiful as you are.

Mom